Table Tennis

I am a ping-pong ball, a lightweight white hollow ball. There are two players who send me back and forth to each other with their rackets on a hard table over a short knitted net. This never-ending game could only stop if either of the players on either side of the table misses to bounce me back. I could become a dead ball if I don’t land on the opponent’s end line of the table. The game is fast. The reactions are quick. The eyes are gazed at me. The hands motions are my only guides. If I am not stopped by the hands, I am dead and the game is over. The game is all I have, you see. I need your undivided focus and hand-eye coordination for my survival. Game over means staying in a dark box filled with other ping-pong balls and little room to breathe. Watching my peer dead balls and hearing their death stories is depressingl mind-racking. I turn into a pessimistic creature with no ambition of success stories that may be brought about by tomorrows. I need to be gazed at and I need to be stopped by your hand motions to thrive into heights of happiness, because my ide mind in a dark box with other corpses is the house of devil. Take me with you into the game.

Sizzles

Radiating pain through my extremities
Serious enough to put an elephant down
Hand movements massaging my back
My soothing remedy is a warm touch

Massage

Soft. Gushing blood. Good.

Lake Sure

Chilly. Drew the blanket higher to cover my neck. Could hear the drip-drops of rain falling; theme music of my dream. Outside is dark. The drapes were moving with the wind. Chilly. I wasn't asleep. But I distinctly remember that I was dreaming of the water waves on the other side of the window. They looked so real, as if I was just looking out the window. The wind was making waves. Outside is pitch black. I wasn't dreaming. But I distinctly remember that my eyes were closed. He woke up to the alarm tone , playing Mozart. I cursed the music in my dream. Why did I have to wake up when he did? I wanted to continue looking at the water waves, washing over me, advancing to my neck. I woke up to the alarm tone. Coffee grains smell so good when the sky is still dark. He made a full pot. Still chilly. The warmth of the coffee penetrated my bones. Loud TV volume made my eyes wide open, CNN was covering how politics decides for science and not the other way around. Sad sad world. Drank the black coffee with all my muscles. Time to go and do my science experiments. For the government? Well, that's certainly were the money to do it all comes from. Sad sad world. So we will watch the rest next week, okay? Can't wait. Give me a hug. Bye now.

Missing my sparrow

Sorrow
Tomorrow
Found in your arms
Tomorrow
Sorrow
Lost in your arms
Tomorow
Sorrow
Longing in your arms
Sorrow
Tomorrow
Missing being in your arms
Tomorrow
Sorrow
Hold me in your arms
Sorrow
Tomorrow
Don't let go of your arms
Tomorrow
Sorrow
Let me stay in your arms
Sorrow
Tomorrow
I will cut your arms
Tomorrow
Sorrow
All I want is your cut arms
Sorrow
Tomorrow
You will go away
Tomorrow
Sorrow
I will go away
Tomorrow
Sorrow
Sorrow
Sorrow
Sparrow
My Sparrow

Smoke

Spread in my veins so that after half an hour, I could feel it in my feet and my brain simultaneously. My headache didn't let me walk. The music was soothing my ears, pampering my body. All I wanted to do was to smoke and let the music carry me away, to a far away land in which all I could do is to listen to music and get carried away to a far away land.

Being a voice

Some voices are weak but strong. Some have excuses instead of voices. Some can't make up their voice. Some voices are passionate. Some are painful. Some voice what they see. Some voice what they hear. No shows make voices disappear.
Be a voice.

Some people are ducks

And a quack quack here
And a quack quack there
And then a quack here and a quack there
And a quack quack everywhere
Everywhere a quack quack

Searching For Ever?

Stop it.
I am right here.

The Dead End Road

The end is dead. The road is deadened. Dead is the end.
Take the short cut.

Vampire

Veins. Vaccinated with a single-shot of minced brains mixed with boiled meat juice every morning before eyes are opened to the other side. Rest of the day is run by the blood running through bloody veins. Minced brain. Deep breathe. Open eyes. Closed ears.What I see is what I was is what I am is what I become is what I suck. Vampire. Blood. Veins.

Happy Earth Day

Rise and Fall of civilizations is very natural. Earth's mass does not change even if births are greater than deaths because the 'lovely lively' kill off the 'lovely other lively' to make space to live. Killing forests, animals, birds. We are all part of one though, a hemisphere. So all this green peace talk is very pessimistic, threatening, and serve in nothing but leaving us helpless as opposed to showing us a way. Global warming has a ripple effect, but don't be scared because our filthy human births and deaths doesn't really matter. As a matter of fact medieval warming gave rise to an increased life expectancy from 28 to 50 years because growth and harvest increased due to better weather for the crops, sublime and magnificent cathedrals were built because growth was associated with the Almighty. But think about it, the God was that crop that increased satiety and decreased famine in this case. All creatures, doesn't matter the kinds, are all part of this ecosystem. Biodiversity matters. Earth is a box. We are stuck here, accept it or not. If earth was a mother, it wouldn't really care about its sea levels rising. It is us who care about our houses going under water. But this is wise because not just houses, but everything goes under water. We need change in human thinking, to be able to build a city on the water with all the things we love. For this we need underground thinkers, visionaries, politicians, sociologists, and the whole jazz to be able to handle change and transform it for better survival of biodiversity.

Darwin baby! YEAH

Out to...

Lunch, under the sky's nervous system

Heavy-Days

Lost touch. Filled with a heavy load of silence. I ask for it to feed up my need for solitude and freedom but get caught up in it's languid dreams every time. Ready world? Here I come. Wait a minute, I fell off my shoulders on the way to here, must have been the heavy food I had last night. Be right back.

Heart over Intellect

Heart beats until morale improves to perfection.

Trip

I re-read my posts. I realize it is time for me to go on a vacation.

A Jingle In Jungle

Got it. Feels good. Could. Didn't. Would only make it better. Always something in the repetitions to make it not the same. Fun of it all. Second one is better. Better inside. Wasn't easy. Pleasurable start. Not a warm welcome. Warmness is in you. Mixed feelings when looking back. Idea could be brighter. Wasn't. Time spent living outside of it all. Him. Finding my own way. Big discovery in journal of my dreams, No. Biggest breakthrough in human's knowledge, No. Drug that would prevent it all, so Mommy wouldn't be in pain when she gets up, No. Nobel prize, No. Dreaming bigger than self. Idealism. To be taken everyday before sleep. A handful of reality with a grain of salt. Nevertheless. Impossible is nothing. Possible is everything. Got it.

Q's

Why do you look away when you talk to me? Why is the grass greener on the other side? When and where is your final stop? Why does the blue sky make me cry? What is so romantic about romantic transcendence? Why can't drinking coffee be an indicator of how miserable your life is? How many cups do you drink a day? Can you pour some of your love in my cup? Why do only the fool fall in love? Do you think I'm sexy? How did the blind manage it during the earth hour? Who burnt my blanket with a cigarette butt? Why so generous? Is the enjoyment in heaven and the enjoyed on earth? Do good stories happen to those who can write them? Can I have a piece of that pie if you can't finish it? What are the ins and outs of osteoblast differentiation? Do you ever laugh when all you really want to do is to cry and vice versa? What is so green about the green revolution? Why are you so blue? Why are your cheeks so red? What is your favorite sound? Why did I watch so many Cinderella stories when I was young? Is it true that your soul is unbreakable? Why so cruel? Does my stupidity ever cross your mind? Why is smoking bad for your lungs but not your hands? Can elephants be kept as pets? What do you do when no one is watching? How many hearts does a snake have? Who is the hottest person you'd go out with? Can you stop staring at me? Don't you need to be transcended first to understand transcendental kissing? Will you love me for ever? Why can't you make me fall in love with you? Why doesn't anyone make out? Have you ever been to the other side of the moon before? Why do you ask so many pathetic questions? Does everything have to have a reason? Why do all questions end with a question mark?

Membering

It was hurting. Couldn't wait until I go home and pamper it, treat it like a helpless baby. It had a resonating pain in my ears so the story he was telling me was very vague. May be it is vague now that I am trying to re-member. I remember his hair well though. He knows I like his jumbled hair. I asked him once, long time ago, how do you make your hair like that? He said he goes to the salon everyday, the natural employers at the salon are wind, sun, rain, and snow. That stuck in my mind, so that even when he is re-incarnating a story of his, all I look at is the hairdo. What direction was the wind blowing? Was it sunny today? Can I look at his hair at the end of the day and tell the story of how his day was? Is his hair a mirror of his outside world? How come the wind doesn't make my hair that tantalizing? How can I internalize his hot gray hair follicles without eating his hair, so I re-member them forever? WHAT? He goes, are you listening? I say yeah, carry on please, I was looking at your hair. He goes, I especially didn't comb it for you. Back to the story, re-membering it as if it's a human being waiting to be introduced to other fellow members. His story was actually about a human being, about him, so re-membering isn't too far impersonal in this case. He was wild and crazy when he was young so he went through the same pain, but much worse. He went all the way on top of the cliff and fell. I was way lucky now that I was introduced to his painful re-membrance, but that didn't take away from my pain. First hand pains are always more enjoyable, because they are easier to re-member later on. I don't need to scratch my head to re-member what he went through. Mine would just come naturally now. Natural organic re-membrance encarved in my mind, no, not my body because pain instills no body memory after healing. I will always re-member even if I don't re-incarnate the story alive for you.

Nothing

To..say.
Today.

[Idle Mind,
[Recycled Words,
[Coming to a factory near you,

Happy.
Monday.

sub-stance

I don't want to know you, really, because I won't.
I want to know what you are really about, deep down in your soul, really.
I mean really really. What is burning you in your soul?
I don't want masked gimmicks, really.
I need real substance in a burning soul to be eager to follow, really.
I mean really really and slowly, show me what you are made up of, really really.
Potion in a golden bowl, really.

Social History

Everyone gossips about everyone, in the form of stories, i.e. 'what happened'. These stories build up until there are social, political, and religious movements associated with them. The more a person is the subject of gossip, the less significant that person becomes and the more significant the stories. The person gets buried under the stories so there is no more fresh air to breathe anymore. This person should either hide, commit suicide, travel to a far away land, or just don't care about stories in order to be able to continue living, and I have some criteria for living that I don't need to get into. This is the case with many figures in history books. Some historians are a bunch of gossipers. The bigger the story they make, the thicker the book gets, and the more they appraise somebody and condemn another, the bigger and dirtier their mouth. We then appraise the historian and call them scholars.
But the point to catch from all these written work is content, professionalism, context, a deep understanding of human condition, so that we can discern the rightness and wrongness. So that when one person is unfairly praised, then there could be some potential fallacy in the viewpoint. I know rightness and wrongness are relative, but there are absolute right and wrong gods resting somewhere, probably sleeping by now, they are alittle bit shy.
Among all these junk history texts, get to know the works of Adamiyat. I think he had a subjective and objective understanding of the past of many regions, an objective understanding of what the learnt lessons could show, and a vision for the future. His personal gossip I don't know and don't care much to know. And no, I am not trying to make more gossip about him. Find out for yourself.

[Maybe this is why I like the Biological History better. Biological history is so safe and clean and peacefully intricate. The fossils are set in stone. They are not like humans, who can change their point of views one way or another depending on the weather channel.]

Rain

On roof.
Today.

Sun

In sky.
Today.

Animalism

Every single law, every detailed regulation, every organized order, in our biological system, in our social relationships, our econo-political identity, and our global awareness has its roots deep within our survival as human species.

Are we by any means more deserving to survive? We are here because trees are, fish are, turtles are, tigers are, elephants are, birds are, monkeys are. Is advocating the laws in favor of other species a mere joke? Can we ever be completely graceful and grateful to nature outside of our own sphere? Can we ever live in absolute harmony with the rules of jungle?

Smile

Death is near. Smile
Life is here. Smile
Don't go crazy and cry. Smile
Don't go frenzy and fry. Smile
The lines you fell in love with were a paper joke. Smile
The God you idolized was alone like you. Smile
All and all is a mirage. Smile

Birds

Sing.
Today.

Media

Do not expose your kids to media. They control minds and hearts and souls. If you want originality, humanity, creativity, inspiration, love, peace, commitment, life, anger, hate, death, domination, jealousy, showing in your kids at the right time and right place, raise them in a jungle with many willow trees, a lake, a wooden house with enough food, bears, wolves, snails, squirrels, mice, rats, mushrooms, birds, and eagles...with no mom and no dad...



[Information can tell us everything. It has all the answers. But they are answers to questions we have not asked, and which doubtless don't even arise.
Jean Baudrillard]

Earth-Sky-Stars-Day-Night

EuphoriaEuphoria Euphoria.
StimulationStimulation Stimulation.
SanctitySanctity Sanctity.
DelectationDelectation Delectation.
NauseaNausea Nausea.

[Maddening Bliss]

Politics

A lecture on politics of the 21st century

Point was intellectuals are not necessarily academics and academics are not necessarily intellectuals. Intellectuals are those who voice their opinions in a social, political, economical, religious way.

But I mean who is someone who is in the process of working on an idea, say world hunger through research on genetically modified crop and does not have the means necessary to go out there and shout at the social, political, and economical system or even if he or she can shout, has nothing new or more important than what is out there already to say? This is my immediate emotional response. My second emotional response is related to some dangers of the classification systems we come up with. I may think of more to say later.

A biological standpoint by Darwin: It is not the strongest species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change.

A point I really liked however was that you can't simplify all of philosophy or philosophical thought using a comic strip [was that a critic to Persepolis? I don't know]. Simplicity is good, but complexity behind simplicity is better.

[I have a headache now. I really do. Tylenol was the best political invention of the 21st century. I don't mean to make fun. I really don't. This is a serious matter. Let's take it seriously. But serious enough to keep us headache free.]

A......B

A. KSDGHQ;HJSKAPSGHLSGHJ

B. When did I do that?

A. DKGHOAFGRFLGJ#$(T&@)QOHF)@RDKFH KDHFKDHFS FSDF OIO$I*%)#$*N N*@(#*%V(*@(YCIEHKDHFIDYFIDGFSLGKRIHGHSLGNMDNV

B. I never said that. Even if I did, what I meant by it was absolutely something else. Come on, are you paranoid?


A. #%*OWJFSLDJVMOSDJGAOFKIEO^(E$WOJFOSJDASFJA

B. Fine. But, what is my fault?

A. KDSFOAJSFOAPFSGKSDKGAKGI#U$(^%@(%U@HB#I%KHKGW

B. Okay, sorry.

A. SDLGOALSFLAGNKVNOGJAPFK:DKGFKGOWUT#*(%&@(#%*@QOHEKJFAKF



[The danger of communication is mis-communication]
1. Chose silence. 2. Be ware. 3. Think before talking. 4. Talk before thinking! 5. You hurt, you get hurt, deal with it. 6. If don't want to get hurt, don't hurt. 7. Be grateful of other's presence. 8. Thank them. 9. Be polite. 10. Don't push reactive buttons. 11. Establish boundaries. 12. Do I have to tell me everything? You tell me!

Across the universe

A visual extravaganza of 34 compositions of the Beatles, heightened my auditory senses to extremes.
A girl who came to stay.
A boy who came across the universe.
Arts. Encounters. Songs. Wars. Politics. Romances.
Acid, tempting.
All you need is love.
Love is all you need.

[The sad part? It ended on a happy note, like almost all hollywood movies.]

Few Fool Fool Full

Make a fool of yourself sometimes because either way, you are one!

Make a fool of others sometimes because otherwise they make a fool of you!

Recognize and acknowledge patterns of foolishness in yourself and others!

This whole thing isn't demeaning, it shows the already demeaned!

Love! Laugh! Learn! Live!